thoughts on: perfection

the more and more i learn about myself, the more i realize what needs to stay and what needs to be gleaned out from my life. lately, i asked myself a few questions that all had something in common.

do you get genuinely upset when failing to do something? (yes)

do you feel a constant pressure to be the best at *fill in blank*? (uh, yes)

do you place all focus on the world's standards of success rather than true accomplishment? (...yes..)

do you feel discontent with your performance? (heck yeah)

all of these questions lead to the fact that, yes, in fact, i have turned into a perfectionist. and the perfectionist in me has been editing and rewriting this post for the past two months. jokes on me, i guess-- my life is just one big ironic happening.

though, i am learning one thing to be true...

perfection only steals your joy, your beauty, your creativity, & your personality. it morphs you into something that you were not created to be. it only provokes disappointment and setbacks. it places all focus on yourself and your ability. perfection, in short, is not a healthy state to be in since it increases your target to merely yourself while decreasing your awareness of all the beautiful happenings around you. it restrains you to a box of sole supremacy limiting you from what could be and what can be.

i find myself striving for perfection in mainly in my school work, my relationships, & my goals. i desire to have rewarding grades, consistent friendships and relationships, and to have my goals met. like, right now. though these desires can be pleasing, they only fulfill the soul temporally. we will always want more-- whether that be physical wants or internal/emotional wants. all of this leads to the dreaded place of discontentment. and ironically enough, a vital combat for perfection is contentment. contentment with where you are in life (yet continuing to grow and learn), contentment with who is in your life and who has left (seeing those who stays a blessing, and treating those who leave with grace), and overall contentment within oneself where you are comfortable saying "i am a person in progress".

and, i know one thing to be true...

one little thing that does not go according to plan is the end all, be all. and, we do not have to be in replete charge of "our plan". and thank you, Jesus, for that! seriously. i am so thankful that i have a perfect Saviour who loves such an imperfect human. excuse me while i overflow with joy and peace.

contentment and thankfulness-- that is how we fight perfection. to take the day one step at a time, and to keep growing, keep learning, and just keep on going. because, we are so loved and have such a beautiful life that offers abundance outside our need for perfection.

yours truly,
cate